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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23595877">Confession Under A Thousand Stars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanitelamort/pseuds/Vanitelamort'>Vanitelamort</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ONEUS (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Biting, Blow Jobs, First Relationship, First Times, Love Confessions, M/M, Regret, Sex, Smoking, TW Wrist cutting, tw suicide attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:08:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,130</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23595877</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanitelamort/pseuds/Vanitelamort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Caught smoking leads to a confession. Hwanwoong x Youngjo</p><p> </p><p>TW: Suicide attempt/Wrist cutting (I'm not overly good with trigger warnings as my triggers are  typically scent based. Please comment or message if there are other things I should have here)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Youngjo | Ravn/Yeo Hwanwoong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hwanwoong blew out smoke as he leaned against the railing. The night's cold air bit against his skin, he almost regretted not bringing a jacket. The tank top he was wearing left a lot of skin exposed, but he could ignore the cold. It helped him in a way.<br/>
He took another drag of his cigarette. He knew he shouldn't smoke but the way the nicotine hit soothed him. This was the first time this week he had managed to find a minute alone, even if it was in the middle of the night and on a small jetty with no one around. He tried not to smoke too often, it would become too noticeable to his hyungs and maknae, and he wanted to avoid that.<br/>
He blew smoke out, sighing in satisfaction.<br/>
"So this is what you do when you sneak out."<br/>
Hwanwoong dropped his cigarette as the sudden voice surprised him. He had immediate recognition of the voice before even looking up at its owner.<br/>
"Hey Youngjo-Hyung," he said sheepishly as his eyes met Youngjo's.<br/>
"Give them here," Youngjo held his hand out.<br/>
Hwanwoong pulled his packet of cigarettes and lighter from his jean's pocket. He handed them over to his hyung.<br/>
"You know, if you're gonna sneak out and smoke, you need to be quiet. You are way too loud," Youngjo chuckled. "It's surprising you don't wake the whole house."<br/>
"How long have you known?" Hwanwoong asked.<br/>
"A few months now. Also started noticing when you sneaked off alone during the day. Honestly thought maybe you had gotten a girlfriend," Youngjo took a cigarette out and placed it between his lips. He lit it before pocketing the packet and lighter. "Didn't take you for a smoker," he said before inhaling the smoke.<br/>
Hwanwoong stood dumbfounded for a moment before collecting himself and picking up his dropped cigarette.<br/>
'I could say the same for you."<br/>
"We all have our vices," Youngjo half grinned before breathing out smoke.<br/>
The two stood there, without another word between them as they smoked. Hwanwoong finished his first, stubbing it out on the railing before pocketing it. There was a bin on the way back he could throw it in. He looked out onto the water, watching the ripples go through the moon's reflection.<br/>
Out of everyone, he was glad it was Youngjo who caught him. He enjoyed the older one's company and was pleasantly surprised that they shared the same secret. Hwanwoong knew he had a crush on Youngjo, most of their group had an inkling towards it but as they were all very close to each other none of them could properly confirm it.<br/>
Hwanwoong looked up at Youngjo, watching him as he smoked. Everything about the man sent Hwanwoong's heart beating fast, and now with him smoking it was just too much.<br/>
"I really like you, Youngjo," the words escaped Hwanwoong's lips before he could stop them.<br/>
Youngjo looked down at him, surprised at first before his features softened and a smile graced his lips.<br/>
"Good, cause I really like you too, Hwanwoong," Youngjo said. He snubbed out his cigarette and pocketed it as Hwanwoong had done before. "We should head back. It's too late to be out."<br/>
Youngjo started walking away as Hwanwoong's mind was still processing what had been said.<br/>
"Wait, wait, wait," Hwanwoong said quickly, jogging to catch up to Youngjo. He got in front and stopped, forcing the taller boy to stop as well.<br/>
"You can't say that then walk away."<br/>
Youngjo smiled, "you're right. That was rude, I should have done this instead."<br/>
He grabbed Hwanwoong's chin and tilted the shorter one's head up, leaning down and brushing their lips together in a soft, small kiss. Hwanwoong's mind went haywired.<br/>
Youngjo chuckled before capturing Hwanwoong's lips again, not giving the younger one a single moment to collect his thoughts.<br/>
Hwanwoong became lost in the kiss, his hands pressed against Youngjo's chest. He could feel Youngjo's heart beating quickly, much like his own. Though the older was able to keep a calm composure, he was just as nervous and excited by the kiss.<br/>
They broke off the kiss and Youngjo leaned over to Hwanwoong's ear.<br/>
"Be mine, Hwanwoong," he whispered softly.<br/>
"Ok," Hwanwoong managed to squeak out meekly. Youngjo pulled away and smiled. He grabbed Hwanwoong's hand.<br/>
"We should head back," he said. Hwanwoong nodded in agreement, not trusting himself to speak anymore.<br/>
They walked back to the dorm, at first hand in hand but as they got closer, they chose to stop. Not wanting to risk photos, even though it was quiet and no one was around.<br/>
The dorms were quiet when they returned, everyone else still fast asleep. Hwanwoong felt reluctant to go to his room that he shared with Xion. He wanted to stay with Youngjo for a bit longer.<br/>
"Let's watch a movie," Youngjo suggested, obviously seeing the hesitation in Hwanwoong. He took the younger's hand and led him to the lounge room.<br/>
"Wait here," he instructed, plopping Hwanwoong down on the sofa. Youngjo left but returned quickly with a large thick blanket. He threw it at Hwanwoong before falling down next to him and grabbing the remote of the coffee table.<br/>
"What should we watch?" Youngjo asked.<br/>
Hwanwoong's brain only just caught up to what they were doing but seemed to screech to a stop at what they should watch.<br/>
"Thriller it is," Youngjo chuckled as he opened up Netflix. Hwanwoong nodded timidly as he sorted out the blanket and got it to cover them both. He doubted he would be able to last the entire movie, he was tired but that didn't matter much as Youngjo put his arm around Hwanwoong and pulled him in close, allowing him to lean against Youngjo's chest.  He relaxed against his hyung, feeling quite content.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, Hwanwoong woke up alone on the sofa, covered by the blanket. He pushed himself up, feeling sluggish and sore from sleeping on the sofa. He wondered if last night actually happened or if it was just a dream. He touched his lips, still remembering the feeling on Youngjo's against them.<br/>"That was real, right?" He asked himself.<br/>"What was real?" Keonhee asked as he suddenly sat down beside Hwanwoong with a bag of chips. <br/>"Nothing, just a dream," Hwanwoong answered, unsure.<br/>"Why are you sleeping out here anyway? Was Dongju snoring?" Keonhee chuckled.<br/>"No, I was watching a movie. Must have fallen asleep."<br/>Hwanwoong got up, bundling the blanket up in his arms and went to his room. Luck was on his side, Dongju was already up and out of the room, giving Hwanwoong the opportunity to be alone to think. He sat down on his bed and looked at the blanket, only just realising it was Youngjo's blanket. He brought it up to his face and inhaled, breathing in Youngjo's scent. Sandalwood with hints of rose. A cologne that Youngjo loved to wear. <br/>Hwanwoong laid back on his mattress, keeping the blanket close so he could be enveloped in his hyung's scent. He wondered if it was Youngjo's scent on the blanket that made him dream of his hyung returning his feelings. He couldn't believe what happened last night actually happened, it had to have been a dream. He felt there was no way in the world Youngjo would return his feelings, the very thought seemed ludicrous. <br/>A rapping at the door grabbed his attention.<br/>"Woongie, we're leaving soon," Geonhak's deep voice came from the other side. Hwanwoong groaned, he forgot they had interviews today. He got dressed quickly and met his fellow idols by the front door, all waiting for him. His eyes locked with Youngjo, the older giving a smile. Hwanwoong smiled back softly before looking away. He needed to shake the dream from his mind, especially for the day. He couldn't be distracted from the interviews.</p><p>Hwanwoong collapsed, exhausted, on the sofa upon the group returning to the dorm. Most of the group dispersed to their rooms, all equally as tired and wanting to sleep. Youngjo was the only one who didn't, instead opting to have a shower. Hwanwoong was alone in the lounge room, allowing his mind to wander back to the dream. It still felt so real. The entire day, he hadn't had a moment alone with Youngjo to confirm or deny if what happened last night was a dream. He wondered if he should stay up and wait for Youngjo to come out from his shower, perhaps then he could possibly find out one way or another. <br/>Hwanwoong was flicking through the channel on the tv when Youngjo came out. He looked over to see his hyung wearing only pyjama pants and a towel around his shoulders as he dried his hair. Hwanwoong had to force himself to not stare at Youngjo's chest.<br/>"Nothing interesting on?" Youngjo asked as he sat down beside Hwanwoong.<br/>"You're gonna get a cold if you don't dry your hair properly," Hwanwoong sighed. "I'll go get the hair dryer."<br/>Youngjo chuckled at this, taking over flicking through the channels as Hwanwoong went and got the hair dryer from the bathroom. <br/>The two stayed silent as Hwanwoong dried Youngjo's hair while Youngjo watched a historical K-drama he had found. <br/>Youngjo hummed as Hwanwoong ran a comb through his hair. <br/>"I love when you dry my hair for me," he said.<br/>"Do you purposely not dry your hair properly just so I'll dry it?" Hwanwoong asked.<br/>"Of course," Youngjo looked up and grinned. <br/>Hwanwoong blushed, "last night wasn't a dream was it?"<br/>Youngjo chuckled, "so that's why you kept avoiding my gaze today. You weren't sure if last night actually happened."<br/>Hwanwoong nodded. He shut the hair dryer off.<br/>"I'm done."<br/>"Good, come here," Youngjo patted the space beside him. Hwanwoong sat beside him, feeling flustered being so close to his shirtless hyung. He could feel his heart beating insanely in his chest as Youngjo leaned closer. <br/>"I was sad when you fell asleep last night. I really wanted to taste your lips more. I've been thinking about them all day," Youngjo said softly, his eyes locked onto Hwanwoong's. Without missing a beat, he reached up and pulled Hwanwoong closer, pressing their lips together. <br/>Hwanwoong could feel Youngjo's tongue, prodding for entry which he gladly allowed. Their tongues mingled together, Youngjo's mouth tasting like mint toothpaste. Hwanwoong found himself getting lost in the kiss until a thought pushed its way to the top. He pushed Youngjo away, breaking their kiss. Youngjo, looking a bit flustered from the kiss, looked at Hwanwoong confused.<br/>"What's wrong?" He asked.<br/>"What if someone comes out and sees us?" Hwanwoong asked. <br/>"You don't want them to know?" <br/>"More like, I'm afraid of how they'll view us if they found out," Hwanwoong admitted, almost ashamed to even think that the others would reject him for this.<br/>Youngjo smiled softly. "We're all a family, they won't care but I never want to make you do something if you're not comfortable."<br/>"I'm honestly scared. I want this more than anything but what if it doesn't work out? What if one of the others does care? What if we get caught and exposed to our fans and they reject us?" <br/>Youngjo grabbed Hwanwoong's hands.<br/>"If we all lived by the 'What ifs' then I wouldn't be sitting here right now. We'll be ok, I promise," Youngjo smiled softly. <br/>Hwanwoong wasn't sure if it was Youngjo's words or simply his voice that helped give reassurance. Youngjo was right, Hwanwoong couldn't let the 'what ifs' hold him back from something he truly wanted. He decided to take the initiative and pulled Youngjo back into a kiss. His hyung was more than happy to be pulled back into one. <br/>Youngjo pushed Hwanwoong back onto the sofa, positioning himself on top as they continued to kiss, their tongues once again intertwining together. The nagging voice in Hwanwoong's mind pushed away as he let his hand roam Youngjo's bare chest. <br/>Youngjo pulled away, looking down at Hwanwoong lustfully. He began kissing softly down Hwanwoong's jaw, leading to his neck where he sucked and nipped at Hwanwoong's pale skin. Hwanwoong moaned at this, enjoying it in its entirety. He was getting completely lost in the pleasure, only coming back to reality when Youngjo stopped. He looked up at his hyung pleadingly. <br/>"I know, I know," Youngjo chuckled. "But if we keep going, I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself and as sure as I am that the other will accept us, we shouldn't risk them walking in on us going completely at it."<br/>"I suppose that's true," Hwanwoong said sadly. <br/>"We have some free time next week, everyone seems to be planning to go home and see their families. Why don't we stay here? Have some proper alone time," Youngjo suggested. Hwanwoong nodded in agreement a bit too eagerly, making his hyung laugh. He got off Hwanwoong and the two stood up together. <br/>"You've been tired all day, you really should, sleep Hwanwoong," Youngjo gave Hwanwoong one last kiss before saying goodnight and heading to his room. Hwanwoong stayed in his spot until he heard Youngjo's bedroom door shut. He collapsed to his knees, his entire body feeling exhausted. <br/>Hwanwoong could feel the craving for a cigarette but remembered that Youngjo had taken them. He groaned, not particularly wanting to go out and get more so instead he did as Youngjo had told him to do. He went to his room. Dongju was lying on the top bunk, headphones on and flicking through a magazine. He looked up at Hwanwoong as he entered, giving him a small nod of acknowledgement.<br/>Hwanwoong got dressed in his pyjamas and got into bed, noticing that he still had Youngjo's blanket. He pulled it up over him, snuggling with it and breathing in Youngjo's scent as he thought back to moments ago when his hyung was on top of him. He fell asleep, his dreams filled with Youngjo.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hwanwoong found himself awake early the next day. It was dusk outside and he still had a couple of hours before he needed to be up but he couldn't get back to sleep. He got out of bed and dressed, careful not to disturb Dongju, who was snoring lightly while cuddling up with a plushie. Hwanwoong went to the kitchen, opting to make himself some tea. He still had cravings to smoke. He decided not to worry about having tea and went back to his room to grab his mask and wallet. He had time to walk to the 7-11 and get some cigarettes. <br/>Back at the small jetty, Hwanwoong hummed happily as he inhaled the smoke. He had an hour and a half til he needed to be back at the dorms, so he was going to enjoy his cigarette. As he stared out at the water, he thought back to the night before when Youngjo had caught him. He had a yearning for Youngjo to turn up again. But alas, Youngjo didn't turn up again. Hwanwoong finished his smoke and snubbed it out, taking what was left with him to throw in the bin on the way back to the dorms. <br/>Seoho was up and about when Hwanwoong returned to the dorms. <br/>"Where did you go this early in the morning?" Seoho asked as Hwanwoong walked in. <br/>"Just a walk, woke up early and felt like I needed to do something," Hwanwoong lied. He went into the kitchen, finally having a cup of tea. Seoho followed him, seeingly hovering around like he wanted to say something but didn't. Hwanwoong could feel Seoho's eyes boring into the back of his head as he made tea. <br/>"Is something wrong?" Hwanwoong finally asked as he turned to face Seoho. <br/>Seoho thought for a moment before finally speaking, "I'm not gonna tell the others because it's not my place but I saw you and Youngjo-Hyung last night."<br/>Hwanwoong stared at Seoho in stunned silence, his face becoming flustered. He felt like a deer in headlights.<br/>"I always suspected you both had some kind of feelings for each other, I guess I never figured you both would actually end up together. Not that I'm against it," Seoho added quickly. "Just, if you two aren't ready for the others to know, maybe just be a bit more careful."<br/>Hwanwoong nodded silently. He felt too flustered to speak. Seoho placed his hand on Hwanwoong's shoulder.<br/>"I'm happy for you both," he said with a smile. <br/>"Thank you," Hwanwoong finally managed to say, in a soft voice. Seoho gave a small nod before taking his hand back and leaving Hwanwoong alone in the kitchen. <br/>Hwanwoong stared at his cup of tea, lost in thought. He couldn't believe they were caught last night. Fears and anxiety rose inside of his mind, a craving for another cigarette filled his entire being. He let out a shaky sigh before drinking his tea, doing his best to push down everything. They had another day filled with interviews and performances, he needed to focus on that and worry about everything with Youngjo later.</p><p>The week went by excruciatingly slow for Hwanwoong. He didn't get another moment alone with Youngjo during the week and was getting more nervous as each day went by. Finally, the group was given an entire week of free time. As Youngjo had said, the other four members all had plans to go to their families. Youngjo's family were currently overseas on holidays so he opted to stay home. Hwanwoong, on the other hand, knew his parents would be working and being an only child meant no siblings to visit either. His parents did have a few days off close to the end of the week so he decided to head to theirs then. <br/>Hwanwoong felt anxious as he sat in the lounge room, trying to just focus on what was playing on the tv. Youngjo was sleeping, heading back to bed once they said their goodbyes to everyone. Hwanwoong wondered if this was a bad sign, that Youngjo had lost interest. He shook that thought from his head, Youngjo was tired. It had been a long week and he was just catching up on sleep, but still, that anxious nagging voice in the back of Hwanwoong's head was telling him other things. <br/>Hwanwoong stood up. He had enough of the anxiety swirling around inside of him. He decided to take the initiative and go to Youngjo. He went to his hyung's room and hesitated at the door. He lifted his hand up to knock but instead grabbed the door handle and quietly opened the door. He peered inside, seeing Youngjo sleeping on the bottom bunk. He let out a sigh, just realising he had been holding his breath in. He went inside and closed the door as quietly as he could before walking over to Youngjo.<br/>Youngjo looked so peaceful sleeping. Hwanwoong knelt down beside the bed, just watching as his hyung slept. It occurred to him how creepy he must appear at that moment and wondered if he should go back to the lounge room. He decided that, yes, it was better if he just let Youngjo sleep. He stood up and went to leave but Youngjo suddenly grabbed his hand.<br/>"Stay," he said, his voice hoarse from sleep. He moved back so Hwanwoong could get into bed with him. With only slight reluctance, Hwanwoong got into the bed, snuggling up with his back to Youngjo. Youngjo wrapped his arm around Hwanwoong and pulled him in closer, nuzzling his face into the back of Hwanwoong's neck. <br/>A small noise emitted from Hwanwoong's lips and he could feel Youngjo smile against his neck before his hyung started kissing softly. Hwanwoong couldn't hold back the small sounds of pleasure. This seemed to just encourage Youngjo more, his hand slipping under Hwanwoong's shirt. <br/>"I've been looking forward to this all week," Youngjo whispered into Hwanwoong's ears, causing shivers to run through the younger man. <br/> Youngjo kissed Hwanwoong's neck softly, his hand freely roaming on Hwanwoong's chest before slowly making its way down to the top of his jeans. A panic came over Hwanwoong as he felt Youngjo unbutton his pants. <br/>"Stop, stop, stop," he said in a panic as he pushed away Youngjo's hand. <br/>Youngjo pulled at Hwanwoong's shoulder to roll him onto his back and locked eyes.<br/>"Everything ok?" Youngjo asked, concerned. Hwanwoong broke eye contact, looking away in shame.<br/>"I'm sorry," he said quietly.<br/>Youngjo hugged Hwanwoong, nuzzling his face into the nape of Hwanwoong's neck before saying, "don't apologise. If you need time, that's ok. We'll go at your pace."<br/>"Thank you," Hwanwoong said as he wrapped his arms around Youngjo. <br/>Youngjo pushed himself up so he could look down at Hwanwoong and smiled sweetly. Hwanwoong smiled back before taking his hand from around Youngjo's torso and placing them on either side of his hyung's face, pulling him down for a kiss. Their tongues dancing with one another. Hwanwoong moaned happily, he had missed this more than he expected. The taste of Youngjo's mouth, the way their tongues played with each other and the warmth and welcomed heaviness of Youngjo being atop of him. <br/>Youngjo grinded against Hwanwoong, their erections rubbing against each other with only their pants separating them. Hwanwoong broke the kiss to let out a gasp, pleasure clouding his mind. <br/>Youngjo chuckled. "Sorry, I couldn't resist."<br/>Hwanwoong pouted, which just seemed to encourage Youngjo more as he leaned down and started kissing at Hwanwoong's neck. Nipping and sucking at it, drawing out moans. Hwanwoong slipped his hands under Youngjo's shirt, pressing them firmly against Youngjo's back. <br/>"Youngjo?" Hwanwoong said with a moan.<br/>"Hmm," Youngjo hummed as he pushed himself up to look down at Hwanwoong.<br/>Hwanwoong pulled up Youngjo's shirt. Youngjo grinned as he sat back and in one swift move pulled off his shirt before pulling Hwanwoong up and helped him take his shirt off. Hwanwoong pulled Youngjo back down and started kissing his neck.<br/>"Hwanwoong," Youngjo moaned in pleasure. Hwanwoong could hear Youngjo panting slightly in his ear. He let his hands roam over Youngjo's body, until they found their way to the small of his back. He skimmed around the outside of the top of Youngjo's pyjama pants. <br/>"Want to take them off?" Youngjo asked with a breathy voice.<br/>Hwanwoong pulled away from Youngjo's neck. "I don't know. My mind feels sort of clouded."<br/>Youngjo looked down at Hwanwoong. "Same, it's taking a lot not to force you to do more. I just want you."<br/>"Get off for a second."<br/>Youngjo got off of Hwanwoong, opting to sit at the end of the bed cross legged. Hwanwoong sat up, hugged his knees to his chest and hid his head.<br/>"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Hwanwoong apologised frantically. He felt bad for stopping what they were just doing but he also felt a bit overwhelmed by it all. <br/>"Hey, hey, it's ok," Youngjo said as he crawled across the bed and placed a hand on Hwanwoong's shoulder. Hwanwoong looked up into Youngjo's eyes. <br/>"Have you ever done this before?" Hwanwoong asked.<br/>"I've had girlfriends when I was in high school but you are the first guy I've been with," Youngjo answered truthfully. "I've never really had the courage to pursue a guy before but when you told me you really liked me, I don't know how to explain it, I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to let you know that I felt the same way back."<br/>"I've never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend," Hwanwoong admitted quietly. "I've had crushes, always on other guys. So I just ignored them. I don't even know what came over me the other night. I am glad I did say it."<br/>"So you've never been on a date?" Youngjo asked. Hwanwoong shook his head.<br/>"And you've never kissed anyone?" <br/>"That I've done, at this party I went to a few years back. It was a seven minutes in heaven dare with this classmate that I found out later had a huge crush on me. I felt bad for her, I tried to be into it but pretty sure that's when I figured out I really just didn't like girls that way," Hwanwoong answered with a shy smile and a small shrug of his shoulders. "Whereas now, I absolutely love doing this with you, I'm really into it but I keep having this anxiety in me that makes me panic."<br/>Youngjo smiled softly, "how about we go on a date then? Maybe the anxiety is because we're moving too fast."<br/>"But people will see us if we go out together."<br/>"They will but they won't know it's a date. And it's not weird for two members of a group to go get dinner together. It will be fine, I promise," Youngjo said, giving a reassuring smile.<br/>"Ok, that sounds nice," Hwanwoong smiled. <br/>"Good, I'm going to go back to sleep. You want to stay? It'll just be snuggling, I promise." <br/>Hwanwoong nodded and the two laid down together, Youngjo with his arm around Hwanwoong and holding him close. It felt nice with the warmth of Youngjo to his back. He fell asleep quite easily, in the comfort of Youngjo's arms.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hwanwoong couldn't stop himself from fidgeting at the restaurant. He was nervous and excited over the date. Youngjo noticed his nervousness and placed a hand on his thigh. Hwanwoong was grateful that they were in a private booth where no one could see them, except for the waiter. <br/>"Are you ok?" Youngjo asked.<br/>"I'm nervous but I'm really excited too," Hwanwoong smiled.<br/>"Same," Youngjo squeezed Hwanwoong's thigh before taking his hand away. <br/>The date went by quickly, with barely any interruption aside from them leaving the restaurant. Word had spread of them being there but they easily were able to escape, used to that sort of attention. None of that really mattered to Hwanwoong, he was having the best night with just Youngjo. They already knew a fair amount about each other but learning just those small little details they hadn't shared with the others gave them a deeper connection. <br/>The nervousness Hwanwoong had felt at the start had slowly vanished without him even realising. He felt like he was on cloud nine. He was bouncing all the way back to the dorms, Youngjo smiling at him the entire way.<br/>Once they returned, Hwanwoong decided he wanted to take the initiative. He took Youngjo's hand and led him over to the sofa. Youngjo didn't make any sounds of protest with this, nor with being pushed down onto the sofa to sit. Instead he watched with anticipation and lust as Hwanwoong got on top, straddling Youngjo between his thighs. Hwanwoong was nervous but at the same time, he truly wanted to be intimate with Youngjo. <br/>"Hwanwoong, are you sure? I don't want you to be pushing yourself for my sake," Youngjo said as he placed his hand on Hwanwoong's hips. <br/>"It's not for your sake. I really want to so I'm pushing for myself," Hwanwoong said. He took a deep breath before locking eyes with Youngjo. He leaned towards him and pressed their lips together. Youngjo's hand slid up Hwanwoong's shirt, holding him close as they kissed. Hwanwoong started pulling at Youngjo's shirt, helping his hyung take it off between kisses. Next off was Hwanwoong's shirt, their warm bare chests pressed against each other as their kiss became more passionate, more desperate, like they would die if they stopped. <br/>The kiss did finally end with the two panting, staring at each other for a moment before Hwanwoong pushed himself off, sliding back onto the ground so he was leaning in front of Youngjo.<br/>"Move forward a bit," he said as he looked up at his hyung. Youngjo stared at him, surprised and unsure before doing as requested. He didn't say a thing as Hwanwoong undid his belt and started unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. Youngjo grabbed Hwanwoong's hands, stopping him from doing anything further.<br/>"Are you sure?" Youngjo asked. Hwanwoong could see in his eyes that he wanted it but at the same time was completely concerned with how Hwanwoong felt about it.<br/>"I am sure," Hwanwoong said reassuringly. He was nervous but he wanted to do it. Youngjo let go of Hwanwoong's hands and let him continue. <br/> Hwanwoong pulled down Youngjo's jeans and boxers to release his erection. Hwanwoong swallowed nervously at the sight of it. This was his first time doing anything like this and he was anxious beyond belief.<br/>He took a breath before reaching at it, taking hold and stroking it gently, thinking of how he would touch his own. Youngjo let out a small moan, eyes closed and head tilting back. Hwanwoong smiled as he felt encouragement from the sight of his hyung experiencing pleasure. He wrapped his lips around Youngjo's cock and sucked it gently, his tongue swirling around the tip. <br/>"Oh God, Hwanwoong," Youngjo called out, his hand finding its way to the back of Hwanwoong's head. His fingers loosely entangled in Hwanwoong's hair. <br/>The experience felt odd to Hwanwoong but at the same time exciting. He enjoyed every moan that came from Youngjo. It felt encouraging and turned him on. He kept going, using his hand, mouth and tongue. <br/>"Fuck, Hwanwoong, I'm going to cum if you keep that up," Youngjo warned. <br/>Good, Hwanwoong thought as he kept going. Youngjo grasped at Hwanwoong's hair, thrusting slightly as he did while moaning loudly. He came hot and fast inside Hwanwoong's mouth. Hwanwoong swallowed it all before pulling away after Youngjo let go of his hair and fell back on the sofa. <br/>Hwanwoong wiped drool off his lips as he stared up at Youngjo. Youngjo looked like he was in a daze, staring off at the ceiling, panting slightly. Hwanwoong was panting as well, a weird anxious feeling beginning to take over as he realised what he had done. Kissing was one thing but now they both had stepped over a line that they could never return to now that they've been intimate. <br/>A pair of hands grabbed his, pulling him up onto the sofa. Youngjo pushed him back onto the sofa and got on top. Hwanwoong was barely given any time to think before Youngjo started kissing and sucking at his neck. Hwanwoong moaned, enjoying every moment as Youngjo kissed his way down Hwanwoong's chest. He stopped at the top of Hwanwoong's jeans. He unbuttoned and unzipped the jeans, pulling them along with Hwanwoong's boxers down. <br/>Hwanwoong looked down at Youngjo, seeing him looking at him with a sly smile before taking Hwanwoong's erection into his mouth. Hwanwoong threw his head back, moans escaping from his lips. His mind became completely blank as pleasure ripped throughout his entire body. <br/>"Youngjo," he managed to say through his moans. The pleasure had hints of familiarity from when he would masturbate but was also a mostly brand new experience. He grabbed hold of the back of Youngjo's head, as the older one had done early to him. He could feel something inside of him swelling, coming to the surface. <br/>"Youngjo, I'm so close," he said with a breathy voice. This just encouraged Youngjo to continue with a fiery passion. Hwanwoong's hand clenched around Youngjo's hair as that feeling of absolute pleasure got closer and closer, until he finally came into his hyung's mouth, his hyung swallowing it all. <br/>"Oh God," he panted, his hand letting go of Youngjo and falling to the side. Youngjo kissed his way back up to Hwanwoong's neck, just soft pecks and yet they just set off pleasure after pleasure inside of Hwanwoong. <br/>Both were panting as Youngjo seemingly collapsed onto Hwanwoong. They were exhausted but still very much in high spirits. Their eyes were locked as they gave each other tired smiles. <br/>"That was so good," Hwanwoong said. <br/>"It was," Youngjo agreed. He pushed himself up, with a bit of a struggle and got to his feet. He pulled his pants up. <br/>"Let's go to bed, I'm exhausted after that," he held his hand out for Hwanwoong. Hwanwoong took it, letting Youngjo help him to his feet. <br/>"Sleep sounds amazing," Hwanwoong said with a soft smile. <br/>"Go change into your pyjamas and meet me in my room."<br/>Hwanwoong nodded as he pulled his jeans up. He went to his room, his mind was still foggy from the blow job but also lit up like a Christmas tree. So many emotions ran through his brain but he was exhausted so he easily pushed them aside. He got dressed, as quickly as his exhausted self could and went to Youngjo's room. <br/>Youngjo was lying in his bed, in his pyjamas and staring boredly at the bunk above him. He looked over at Hwanwoong as he entered and smiled. <br/>"You have a kinda afterglow," Youngjo teased as he held his hand out. Hwanwoong walked over to him, feeling a tad flustered at what his hyung said. He took Youngjo's hand and got into bed. Youngjo intertwined their fingers as they looked at each other. <br/>"I love you," Youngjo said softly, taking Hwanwoong by surprise. Youngjo kissed him, not really letting him say anything in return until they broke free.<br/>"I love you too," Hwanwoong smiled. Youngjo smiled too and kissed him again. The two fell asleep, their hands still grasped together, both truly content. </p><p>Hwanwoong woke up the next morning, alone in Youngjo's bed. He stayed there, just staring up at the other bunk. He noticed for the first time that Youngjo had photos taped to the bottom of the top bunk. Photos of his family and of Oneus. There were a couple of photos of Oneus with Onewe and others of Youngjo with one or two of the other but Hwanwoong noticed there were a lot more photos of himself. Both with Youngjo and just simply by himself. This made Hwanwoong smile, it cemented in his mind that Youngjo truly did love him. <br/>Hwanwoong got out of bed, deciding to go find Youngjo. He went to the lounge room first, finding Youngjo sitting on the sofa video chatting with someone. He looked over at Hwanwoong and smiled before looking back at his phone.<br/>"Who's there?" asked whoever was on the phone.<br/>"Hwanwoong," Youngjo replied as he beckoned Hwanwoong over. Reluctantly Hwanwoong went over to the sofa and sat down. <br/>"Hello, Ajummoni," he said politely as he looked at Youngjo's mother on the phone's screen. He had met her once before in person, she was strikingly similar to Youngjo. <br/>"Ah, Hwanwoong, I'm glad someone is still there to keep my son company," she said with a smile. <br/>"See, now you can stop worrying about me, mum," Youngjo stated.<br/>"Fine, fine, I'll leave you boys alone. But please consider it Youngjo, I would love to have the family all together."<br/>"Yes, yes, I'll think about it. Bye mum, love you," Youngjo said with a smile.<br/>"Goodbye son, love you too." <br/>The call ended and Youngjo fell back on the sofa, pulling Hwanwoong with him. <br/>"How are you feeling?" He asked, wrapping his arm around Hwanwoong.<br/>Hwanwoong pressed himself against his hyung. <br/>"I feel amazing," he replied before giving Youngjo a kiss. "What did your mum mean?"<br/>"Oh, she wants me to join them on their holiday seeing as we have a week free," Youngjo replied, before he began kissing along Hwanwoong's jawline.<br/>"Why don't you?" Hwanwoong asked, his voice wavering as he held back his moans. <br/>"I will, when you go home," Youngjo answered, his kisses starting to go down Hwanwoong's neck. <br/>"I'm only going home for two nights because I don't have much choice otherwise, you sure you don't want to spend more time than that with your family?"<br/>Youngjo stopped and looked into Hwanwoong's eyes. "I much rather spend as much time as I can with you."<br/>Hwanwoong blushed. Youngjo kissed Hwanwoong lightly before going back to kissing his neck, unbuttoning Hwanwoong's pyjama top as he did. Hwanwoong felt his mind go blank as he just let Youngjo do as he wished. He had no desire to stop his hyung, he was enjoying it too much. <br/>Youngjo helped Hwanwoong out of his top before pushing him back onto the sofa. In one fluid movement, Youngjo took his own top off before returning to kissing Hwanwoong's neck. Hwanwoong wrapped his arms around Youngjo, lightly scraping his nails down Youngjo's back. Youngjo let out a groan, pausing momentarily. <br/>"You can drive a man insane, Hwanwoong," he hissed into Hwanwoong's ear.<br/>"Is that so?" Hwanwoong responded, lifting his hips up to press their groins together teasingly.<br/>"Fuck," Youngjo growled. "Last night, I was holding back. I wanted to do so much more to you but was worried I would go too far for you to handle. If you tease me too much, I can't guarantee I will be able to hold back." <br/>He looked down at Hwanwoong, his face completely serious and full of lust. Hwanwoong thought about what Youngjo had said, wondering which he would prefer. They had already stepped a line they couldn't return from the night before. What could possibly go wrong by going even further. <br/>"Bring it," Hwanwoong said with a toothy grin. <br/>Youngjo chuckled darkly as he returned to Hwanwoong's neck, being more fierce with his kissing and sucking, slowly making his way to Hwanwoong's shoulder. That was when Hwanwoong felt a sharp pleasurable pain as Youngjo sank his teeth into Hwanwoong's flesh. <br/>"Ah," Hwanwoong let out as he moaned. Youngjo licked the bite with long slow strokes, setting off many pleasure filled sensations through Hwanwoong's body. <br/>Youngjo went back to kissing Hwanwoong's body, softly and slowly. He stopped at Hwanwoong's nipple, where he proceeded to bite once again. The pleasurable pain made Hwanwoong buck as his eyes widened and moans escaped his lips. Youngjo licked around Hwanwoong's nipple, along the bite mark, purposely slow. <br/>Youngjo suddenly stopped, pushing himself up and looking over at the door. Hwanwoong whimpered in protest but Youngjo shushed him. That's when Hwanwoong could hear the door's lock being turned. Youngjo scrambled in a hurry to get off Hwanwoong, putting his shirt on and heading to the door to stop whoever coming in from seeing Hwanwoong as Hwanwoong put his own shirt on and started buttoning it up.<br/>Hwanwoong kept his back to the door, panting slightly and feeling flustered.<br/>"Seoho!" Youngjo said, surprised. "What are you doing back so early?"<br/> "Oh, I forgot to mention but my cousin is getting married here in Seoul tomorrow and I figured I wouldn't worry about a hotel. I would have just stayed but mum was insistent I be at a family dinner last night. You ok, Youngjo? You look a bit flustered." Seoho asked.<br/>"I'm fine. Just been working out."<br/>Hwanwoong, now with a buttoned up shirt, looked over to Seoho and Youngjo. Seoho was looking over Youngjo's shoulder at Hwanwoong. Hwanwoong avoided his gaze, feeling embarrassed. <br/>"Working out hey?" Seoho questioned, not sounding convinced at all. He chuckled and placed a hand on Youngjo's shoulder. <br/>"Don't worry, I already know about you two. Saw you two making out last week."<br/>Youngjo gave a small embarrassed laugh. "I see. Do any of the others know?"<br/>"Not as far as I know, I'm leaving that up to you two as to when you want them to know." <br/>"Thank you," Youngjo said gratefully. Seoho just smiled. Youngjo moved out of the way so he could get passed with his small luggage bag. Seoho gave Hwanwoong a small smile before disappearing down the dorms to the bedrooms. <br/>Youngjo walked back over to Hwanwoong, sitting down next to him with a sigh.<br/>"Seoho told me the other day that he saw us," Hwanwoong admitted. "Sorry, I didn't really have time to tell you and I sort of forgot."<br/>"That's ok," Youngjo smiled as he put his arm around Hwanwoong's shoulders and pulled him in close. "Let's just watch something together."<br/>Hwanwoong nodded in agreement and grabbed the remote, finding a movie on Netflix for the two to watch together.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The two decided to sleep in Hwanwoong's room that night. The moment the bedroom door was closed, they were in each other's embrace. Lips pressed together, tongues intertwining with desperation. All day they wanted each other, but couldn't with Seoho around. Now it was night time, Seoho having gone to bed and them, finally alone in Hwanwoong's room. <br/>Soon their shirts were off, discarded on the ground without a care. Youngjo paused for a moment to trace a finger around the bite on Hwanwoong's shoulder.<br/>"Did you enjoy it when I did that?" He asked. Hwanwoong, shivering under the touch, could only let out a whimper. This just made Youngjo give a wicked smile. <br/>"No protest if I do it again?"<br/>"No," Hwanwoong managed to say. <br/>"Good, help me move your mattress onto the floor. Don't want to bump my head on the top bunk."<br/>Hwanwoong was eager to get back to Youngjo kissing him so he was quick, helping Youngjo move the mattress. Once on the ground, Youngjo pushed Hwanwoong back onto it and climbed on top of him. HIs hand went to Hwanwoong's neck as his mouth went to the bite mark around Hwanwoong's nipple. <br/>Hwanwoong felt like his body was on fire, with Youngjo's hand at his throat. His mind went foggy, the only thing he could concentrate on was the pleasure coming from Youngjo's hot wet tongue licking the bite mark. Youngjo began applying light pressure to Hwanwoong's neck. A moan escaped from Hwanwoong. Youngjo's hand slipped away from Hwanwoong's neck, much to the younger one's disappointment, and made its way down Hwanwoong's torso to his pants. <br/>Youngjo sat up, taking his time to take off Hwanwoong's pants, all the while just staring at the smaller man with such lust that it made Hwanwoong whimper in anticipation. Youngjo pulled his pants off and ran a hand down his thigh. He suddenly started looking around, his hand idle on Hwanwoong's thigh.<br/>"What's the matter?" Hwanwoong managed to ask. <br/>"I'm sorry, give me a moment," Youngjo said, giving a half smile that made Hwanwoong swoon.<br/>Youngjo got up and had a quick look around the room.<br/>"Ah," he said in triumph. Hwanwoong looked at him, seeing that he was holding Dongju's sensitive skin lotion. <br/>"Don't have any lube, but this will be a suitable replacement," Youngjo said as he dropped it by Hwanwoong's legs. He started taking his pants off.<br/>"Dongju won't be happy with us using it," Hwanwoong commented, not overly caring as he watched Youngjo strip, his heart beating fast. They had discussed earlier how far they were willing to go, Hwanwoong having to convince Youngjo that he was ready and wasn't pushing himself for his hyung's sake. <br/>"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," Youngjo knelt down between Hwanwoong's legs and put some lotion on his fingers.<br/>"Are you ready?" He asked. Hwanwoong nodded, staring at Youngjo with pleading eyes. <br/>"It's probably gonna feel weird but just relax, I will go slow," Youngjo reached down, inserting a single finger into Hwanwoong carefully. Hwanwoong threw his head back, it felt strange but also good. Youngjo slowly pulled his finger in and out, giving Hwanwoong time to adjust before adding a second digit. A whimper escaping from Hwanwoong. Youngjo touched something inside that made Hwanwoong gasp, it felt amazing. <br/>"What was that?" Hwanwoong asked between pants.<br/>"That's your prostate, feels good doesn't it?" Youngjo said with a wicked smile as he continued massaging Hwanwoong's prostate. Every moan and whimper from Hwanwoong just egged him on.<br/>"Do you want to try the real thing now?" Youngjo asked. Hwanwoong was barely able to nod but Youngjo saw it anyway. He removed his finger, receiving a whine in protest.<br/>"Don't worry, I'll have you feeling good soon," Youngjo said with a smile. He rolled Hwanwoong over, pulling the smaller man up so he was on his knees. Hwanwoong tried his best to relax, evening out his breathing as Youngjo positioned himself behind him.<br/>Hwanwoong waited, the anticipation growing inside him until he felt the tip of Youngjo pressed up against him, hands holding his hips as his hyung slowly entered him. It was nothing like the fingers. Hwanwoong kept himself calm, moans coming out of his mouth as Youngjo pushed himself in. <br/>"Ah," Hwanwoong gasped as Youngjo bumped against his prostate.<br/>"There's the sweet spot," Youngjo said, Hwanwoong could hear the grin in his voice.<br/>Youngjo began thrusting slowly, being mindful of his speed and how far he thrusted back in. It almost felt like torture, having his prostate hit over and over again but it was still very pleasurble for Hwanwoong. He moaned loudly, before sticking his face into his pillow to muffle himself, only just remembering they weren't alone in the dorm. <br/>"Fuck Hwanwoong, you feel amazing," Youngjo said, his voice sounding strained. He started picking up speed, moans emitting from the both. Hwanwoong felt one of Youngjo's hand slide around his hips to his groin, his hand wrapping around Hwanwoong's erection, stroking it gingerly. Hwanwoong reached up and placed his hand over Youngjo's, helping even out the strokes. He could feel something inside of him swelling up, he was getting close. <br/>"I'm so close," Hwanwoong let out in a whimper. Youngjo picked up his speed a bit, bringing Hwanwoong over the edge. He came hot and fast, cum spilling onto his bed. Youngjo came soon after that, lasting only a couple more thrusts. Hwanwoong could feel a warm liquid filling him up inside. The two collapsed, Youngjo still on top of Hwanwoong. Both stayed there, trying to get their breathing back to normal. <br/>Neither spoke for a long time, the only sound being their breathing. That was until Youngjo spoke.<br/>"We should probably clean up," he said but he made no effort to move. <br/>"We definitely should," Hwanwoong agreed but also made no effort to move. He was exhausted. Eventually, Youngjo pushed himself up. Hwanwoong whimpered as Youngjo pulled out of him. <br/>"Go have a shower, I'll clean up," Youngjo said as he helped Hwanwoong up. <br/>Hwanwoong grabbed his robe and towel. As he went to leave, Youngjo grabbed his arm and pulled him into a kiss.<br/>"I love you," Youngjo said softly. <br/>"I love you too," Hwanwoong responded, smiling as he felt giddy from hearing those words from Youngjo.<br/>Hwanwoong went to the bathroom, having a nice hot shower. The heat helped melt away tension he didn't realise he had in his muscles. The fogginess from sex slowly disipating in his mind. He did feel some anxiety swelling inside of him. Now they had definitely gone too far to ever return. He worried about their future, if they would be discovered, if Youngjo would eventually lose interest. So many ifs filled his head. <br/>Hwanwoong started wondering if he was broken. Why was he so unable to enjoy this? He loved that he could be with Youngjo, that his hyung loved him. But still, the anxiety inside just kept telling him something was wrong. He pressed his forehead against the cold tiles, letting the hot water just run down his back. He needed to kick his anxieties out of his head. Everything would be ok.<br/>"Everything will be ok," Hwanwoong muttered to himself. "Everything will be ok."<br/>He repeated this several times before dropping to his knees, hitting the tiled ground with a wet thunk.<br/>"Why doesn't it feel like it?" He asked himself. He started wondering if he did indeed push himself for Youngjo. Maybe he hadn't been ready and now an overwhelming anxiety within him was pushing him to tears. <br/>A sob escaped Hwanwoong's lips as tears, mingled with water from the shower, ran down his face. He felt like he couldn't breath as he cried. He grabbed at his chest, his heart beating erratically. He felt lightheaded and numb all over. He curled up into a ball, sobbing loudly as the hot water rushed over him without mercy. <br/>It wasn't until the water suddenly stopped did he realise someone had come into the bathroom. He stayed curled up, his eyes shut as he cried. He didn't want to see who it was. He felt ashamed to even be seen in such a shape. He could hear someone saying his name but it sounded muffled. He didn't move, his breathing uneven and strangled. He wished he could disappear in that moment. <br/>A towel was wrapped around his body as he was picked up off the tiled floor. Someone was carrying him but he wasn't sure who. They held him close to their body and he sobbed into their chest. The suffocating feeling slowly disappeared as whoever was holding him hummed a soft tune. <br/>"You're ok," a soft voice said. Seoho was the one holding him.<br/>"What happened?" came Youngjo's voice. Hwanwoong flinched involuntarily at the sound.<br/>"I heard him crying, found him curled up on the ground with the shower on," Seoho put Hwanwoong down on something soft, pulling covers over him.<br/>Hwanwoong opened his eyes, his sobs now small whimpers as he looked at his two eldest hyungs. He was in his bed, his doona pulled over him. Youngjo crouched down beside him, reaching out with his hand to brush wet hair out of Hwanwoong's eyes. Again, Hwanwoong felt himself flinch involuntarily. Youngjo was taken aback by this, a worried look etched on his face.<br/>"I'm sorry," Hwanwoong whispered.<br/>"Don't be," Youngjo said softly. "You don't need to apologise."<br/>Youngjo stood up and looked over at Seoho.<br/>"What happened between you two?" He asked, concerned.<br/>Youngjo sighed. "He convinced me he was ready. I should have known better."<br/>Seoho looked confused for a moment before realisation spread across his face. <br/>"Oh," was all he said. <br/>Hwanwoong hugged his pillow tight, almost afraid to let it go. His two hyungs watching him in silence, seemingly unsure what to do. Hwanwoong buried his face into his pillow. He no longer felt like he was suffocating, he had calmed down enough but was still fairly on edge. <br/>"I want to be alone," he decided out loud. His voice was muffled. <br/>"Are you sure?" Youngjo asked, his tone carrying this sadness that made Hwanwoong's heart ache terribly. <br/>He didn't answer, the silence hanging thick in the air.<br/>"Come on, Youngjo-Hyung," Seoho said tentatively. <br/>"Come get me if you need me, Hwanwoong," Youngjo said. There was another moment of silence before Hwanwoong could hear the two walking out of the room, closing the door behind them. <br/>Hwanwoong silently sobbed into his pillow, hating himself in that moment. He pushed himself too far. He felt an overwhelming desire to escape, to leave the dorms. His family home wasn't too far away, he could take a taxi there. He got out of bed, only a bit wobbly on his legs and got dressed. He grabbed out his small luggage bag and began filling it with clothes and items he would need. There was a twinge of guilt in the back of his mind at the thought of just leaving the dorm without a word but he needed to escape. Even if it was just for a day or so, to help clear his mind a bit. Lastly, he grabbed his cigarettes and the key chain for his family home.<br/>Hwanwoong went to his bedroom door, opening it slightly and listening out for any sounds in the dormitory. He could hear voices, muffled by a closed door, it was easy to guess that Youngjo and Seoho were talking in their room. Hwanwoong opened his door completely and carefully. He made his way to the front door, careful not to make a sound. He thought he had done well until he heard his voice being called.<br/>"Hwanwoong, where are you going?" <br/>Hwanwoong froze, he had really just wanted to leave without a word. The anxiety inside of him swelling up again as he took a deep breath.<br/>"I'm going home for a bit," he managed to say, not turning around to look at Youngjo. He couldn't, not yet.<br/>Youngjo sighed. "Ok, please message me when you get there so I know you're safe."<br/>Hwanwoong could hear the pain in Youngjo's voice and it hurt him badly. <br/>"I'm sorry, Youngjo," he said softly. <br/>"You don't need to apologise, Hwanwoong."<br/>Hwanwoong grabbed the door handle and opened the door. He hesitated at the doorway. He gritted his teeth and stepped over the threshold. He closed the door behind him, not looking back at Youngjo at all.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hwanwoong thankfully didn't have to wait long for a taxi, having called one on his way down to the bottom floor. It took him across the city to his family home. It was nearly midnight and he knew his parents would be asleep by now. He paid the taxi, using the company credit card he had and made his way inside of his family home. He tried his best to be quiet but simply opening his door was enough to wake his parents. <br/>"Hwanwoong?" He heard his father's voice say, sounding confused. His father was standing in the hallway.<br/>"Hey Dad. Sorry for turning up in the middle of the night. I just needed to escape the dorm for a bit," Hwanwoong said, sheepishly. His father gave him a concerned look but chose not to ask what had happened. <br/>"I'll let your mother know you are here. Go and get some sleep, you look exhausted."<br/>"Thank you, dad," Hwanwoong said softly. He closed the front door and made his way to his old room. Everything was as he left it, if not a bit more tidier. He dumped his bag by the door and flopped onto the bed. He laid there for a few minutes before finally pushing himself up and walking over to his bedroom window. He opened it up and sat on the window sill. He got his cigarettes out of his pocket, putting one in his mouth and lighting it up. He pulled out his mobile next as he smoked. He opened his contacts and hovered over Youngjo's name. He was hesitant but eventually he clicked on it, sending a small message to let Youngjo know he was safe. He then went to Keonhee's name and sent a message asking if the older boy was awake. <br/>Keonhee messaged back not long after, asking what was wrong. Hwanwoong simply asked if he could call. His phone started ringing within minutes of him sending that text. <br/>"Hey," he said softly.<br/>"What's the matter, Woongie?" Keonhee asked, sounding concerned.<br/>"I feel like I've messed everything up with Youngjo-Hyung," Hwanwoong answered, smoke escaping from his mouth as he talked.<br/>"Did you finally confess and get rejected?" Keonhee tried guessing. This made Hwanwoong chuckle.<br/>"No, actually I confessed to him over a week ago and he returned the feelings. We even went on a date yesterday, or I suppose it's the day before yesterday now."<br/>"But something bad happened?" Keonhee sounded like he was trying to be careful with what he said and asked. Not wanting to hurt his friend.<br/>"I was stupid, I convinced myself I was ok with going all the way with him and now I feel like everything is just moments from crumbling down."<br/>Keonhee was quiet for a bit. Hwanwoong waited, taking drags on his cigarette while he did. He knew Keonhee was processing the information and considering his next words. <br/>"This is your first relationship isn't it?" Keonhee eventually asked.<br/>"It is."<br/>"It's ok to have some anxiety, this is entirely new to you and it's with one of our hyungs, it's not surprising you feel that way. Did Youngjo-Hyung talk you into it?"<br/>"No, he actually kept questioning me about it. I had to convince him I was good with it. Now I feel like I've just hurt him."<br/>"Woongie," Keonhee said softly. "You both will be ok. We are all here for you and we will all support the two of you."<br/>"I know. Fuck," Hwanwoong took a long drag before breathing it out with a shaky breathe. "I just feel horrible. I keep trying to tell myself that it's all going to be ok but I just can't stop the anxiety inside of me."<br/>"Are you at the dorm?" Keonhee asked. <br/>"No, I went home. Youngjo-Hyung is still at the dorm with Seoho-Hyung. Seoho-Hyung came home for a family wedding," Hwanwoong replied. <br/> "Give yourself a few days. Hopefully being at home will help and if you need to, you can always call me. Who knows about you two?"<br/>"Just you and Seoho-Hyung."<br/>"Ok, I'll check with Seoho-Hyung on how Youngjo-Hyung is going. You should sleep, you sound very tired."<br/>Hwanwoong nodded before remembering Keonhee couldn't see him. <br/>"Ok, goodnight Frog," Hwanwoong said, with a soft smile. Keonhee chuckled lightly.<br/>"Goodnight Sloth."<br/>Hwanwoong hung up the call and finished off his cigarette, grateful for the nicotine hit. He got dressed in his pyjamas and got into bed. He gave his phone one last look, seeing an unread message from Youngjo. He let out a sigh before opening it.<br/>'Sleep well Hwanwoong. I love you.'<br/>Hwanwoong felt his insides twist. He sent back 'I love you too' before shutting his phone off and going to sleep. </p><p>Hwanwoong spent a couple of days at his parents' house. He didn't get to see them much during the day while they worked but he did enjoy the alone time and the evenings with them. Neither asked him what was wrong, waiting for him to be ready to talk. He knew he needed to tell them something, turning up in the middle of the night wasn't something he had done before. Eventually he opened up to them, keeping certain details to himself, he admitted he had feelings towards one of his group members and then he lied by saying he simply got overwhelmed being alone with that member. <br/>His parents had been shocked to learn that their son was gay. He had been anxious to admit it to them but he rather they knew from him, over someone finding out and publishing it in the news. He was overwhelmed by support from both of them that he almost cried. He had once been terrified about telling them, to know this was how they reacted made him feel slight guilt. <br/>Hwanwoong kept in contact with Keonhee over the days but didn't make any move to contact Youngjo. Youngjo did message a few times but Hwanwoong just ignored them. He would read them when he is ready, is what he told himself but the reality was, he was scared. He was scared that the message would say that they shouldn't date anymore, that Youngjo regretted everything. Hwanwoong just couldn't bring himself to look at them. It wasn't until Seoho finally messaged, telling him that Youngjo had gone to join his family over seas, did Hwanwoong look at the messages. <br/>A lot of them were simple good mornings and good nights, a few I love yous sprinkled through them. But one message made his heart stop.<br/>'Hwanwoong, I'm sorry. I should have been more stubborn about not letting us go that far. I let my desires take over and convinced myself it would be ok. Now it just feels like everything we could have possibly had is lost. I miss you. I just want to talk to you, to see you one more time. However, I don't want to have ruined the group's dynamic with my selfish actions. I have come to decide I should leave Oneus. I can't stay if it means hurting you and I can't let you leave it either. This was my mistake and I am sorry. I love you Hwanwoong.'<br/>Tears rolled down Hwanwoong's face. He couldn't let Youngjo leave the group. Not over this. Hwanwoong felt just as at fault. He clicked on Youngjo's number, anxiously waiting for his hyung to pick up.<br/>"Hwanwoong?" Came Youngjo's voice once the call had been picked up. He sounded unsure. Hwanwoong's heart felt like it was in his throat, beating incredibly fast. He hadn't realised it, but he had missed Youngjo's voice.<br/>"Don't leave Oneus," Hwanwoong pleaded. "I'm sorry for making you feel guilty. I didn't mean for that to happen, I just got scared."<br/>"Hwanwoong, you don't need to apologise. If you really don't want me to leave the group then I won't but we need to properly talk. I know you have fears about us but if we don't work together, our relationship will just crumble." Youngjo said softly.<br/>Hwanwoong nodded his head vicariously. <br/>"Ok."<br/>"I'll be home in three days. Please keep messaging me while I'm gone. I will answer when I can," Youngjo promised.<br/>"I will," Hwanwoong promised back. <br/>"I love you so very much, Hwanwoong."<br/>"I really love you too, Youngjo."<br/>The phone went silent and Hwanwoong cried quietly for a short while. He had three more days without Youngjo. He took a deep breath, trying his best to calm down as much as possible. <br/>"I'll be ok," he muttered to himself. His phone suddenly vibrating made him jump. He had received a new message from Youngjo. He opened it up, finding that it was a video. He watched the video, taken aback and happy tears pricking his eyes as Youngjo sang in the video. <br/>'I love you. Only you, I loved only you. I made this love song for you. Only for you. This is a love song to my boy. Oh this is real. My love. Take my heart, my precious love. I remember the days with you. When I’m in love, when I’m in love. I can’t see anything. I want to be with you forever. ‘Cause my baby, ’cause my baby. This is your song, this is a love song. ‘Cause my baby, ’cause my baby. This is your song, this is a love song. I love you. Only you, I loved only you. I made this love song for you. You took my heart, my precious love. I remember the days with you. When I’m in love, when I’m in love. I can’t see anything. I want to be with you forever. I’ve hidden it from you until now. Please forgive the foolish me. Come back to me. To me, who is waiting. You took my heart, my precious love. I remember the days with you. When I’m in love, when I’m in love. I can’t see anything . I want to be with you forever.' <br/>Hwanwoong hugged the phone to his chest. All the anxieties inside of him seemed to melt away from Youngjo singing. He spent the rest of the day, just watching, listening to Youngjo. More than anything, he just wanted to be with Youngjo, for their relationships to work.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The song Youngjo sings: I Love You by Rain  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb64c2fOCCM</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hwanwoong found himself in the RBW dance studio a day earlier than he would have expected. He was asked if he would be able to come in early to meet and work with a choreographer for an upcoming performancing. They were set to perform with Onewe, doing a dance to one of their songs. The choreographer was brought in mostly to assist Hwanwoong and to gain more experience in the field. Hwanwoong was more than happy to work with them. It also served as a good distraction while he waited for Youngjo to return. <br/>Nothing felt more right to Hwanwoong than dancing. Moving to music was like breathing to him. The choreographer was surprisingly good, putting in suggestions and helping Hwanwoong work out his own ideas. By the end of the day, Hwanwoong was tired but they had a rough idea of the choreograph for the song.<br/>The choreographer bid Hwanwoong goodbye, thanking him for being patient. Once he had left, Hwanwoong pulled out his phone. He hadn't the chance to message Youngjo all day but he had told his hyung that he would be busy. Youngjo only gave a short reply to the message and nothing more. Hwanwoong laid on the dance studio's floor, holding his phone above him as he wrote a message to Youngjo. Just telling his hyung how his day went. He waited about ten minutes for a reply but received none to his disappointment. He let out a sigh and opened up the video of Youngjo singing. <br/>He put the volume up high and got to his feet. Putting his phone somewhere safe he began just dancing to the song. Letting Youngjo's voice guide him through his movements. He was so absorbed in his dancing that he didn't notice a second more clear voice singing. It wasn't until he finished, panting only slightly, that he saw Youngjo in the mirror. He whipped around quickly, a smile spreading across his face.<br/>"YOUNGJO!!" He shouted as he dashed at Youngjo, wrapping his arms around him. Youngjo hugged him tightly back with a chuckle.<br/>"I've missed you so much," Hwanwoong cried, tears beginning to come to the surface. "I'm sorry."<br/>"Shh," Youngjo started running his fingers through Hwanwoong's hair. "You never need to apologise. I've missed you too."<br/>The two stayed in each other's embrace for what felt like eternity but at the same time not long enough. Hwanwoong wanted to kiss him but knew it wasn't a good idea, so he just tightened his hug for a moment then let go. <br/>"Why are you home early?" Hwanwoong asked.<br/>"Isn't it obvious?" Youngjo grinned in response. "I couldn't stop thinking about you." <br/>Hwanwoong felt his ears go red. <br/>"I'm not the only one back either. Everyone seemed to decide to return home today. They're waiting downstairs in the car for us all to go to dinner. And I was thinking, maybe we should let the rest know," Youngjo said softly, watching Hwanwoong's face for a reaction.<br/>Hwanwoong's insides did twist in anxiety but he knew they should let everyone know.<br/>"Keonhee already knows. I told him the night I went to my parents," Hwanwoong admitted.<br/>"I kinda guessed, he checked up on me a couple of times that it felt obvious he knew something. We should let Geonhak and Dongju know then."<br/>Hwanwoong reluctantly nodded in agreement. He packed up his stuff and followed Youngjo downstairs and out to the car. Everyone said hello cheerfully when they got into the car. Hwanwoong couldn't help but smile. He had missed being with everyone. Being with his fellow group members eased the anxieties in his mind, allowing him to feel more himself.<br/>They went to their favourite restaurant, getting a private room to themselves. All just chatting among each other about their week off. Youngjo sat close to Hwanwoong, their fingers interlocked, hidden from the others by the table. Around the end of dinner, Youngjo looked at Hwanwoong. <br/>"Now?" He asked softly.<br/>Hwanwoong felt his entire being go cold but he knew this was the best thing to do. Dongju and Geonhak deserved to know. He nodded his head, not particularly trusting himself to speak. His insides were twisting with anxiety.<br/>"Everyone," Youngjo said, loudly enough for them all to hear. Everyone stopped talking and looked at him.<br/>"Hwanwoong and I want to let you all know about something," Youngjo held up his hand that was interlocked with Hwanwoong's. "We're dating."<br/>"Ha, you owe me Geonhak!" Dongju said triumphantly, standing up and pointed at Geonhak. <br/>"Wait, wait," Geonhak said holding his hand up to Dongju. "Who admitted their feelings first?"<br/>"I did," Hwanwoong answered timidly.<br/>"Ha, you owe me," Geonhak crossed his arms and leaned back smuggly. <br/>"I think what those two mean, is we're all happy for you," Keonhee said. Seoho nodding in agreement. <br/>Everyone seemed to go back to happily chatting. Dongju and Geonhak bickered over who won their bet, to Hwanwoong's amusement. All those worries about telling everyone just disappearing as he leaned his head against Youngjo's shoulders. <br/>"See, they'll love us no matter what," Youngjo said, letting go of Hwanwoong's hand and wrapping his arm around Hwanwoong instead. </p><p>Hwanwoong and Youngjo spent the rest of the night together. Seoho agreed to sleep in Hwanwoong's room for the time being until they all sorted out what to do. Dongju made the suggestion that one person from each room swaps, so to make it look less obvious about Youngjo's and Hwanwoong's relationship. If they all traded rooms with the excuse of 'change of pace', they doubted their manager would question it too much. It felt nice that everyone, group wise, knew about them. It did help with some of Hwanwoong's anxieties. <br/>"Hwanwoong," Youngjo said softly, drawing Hwanwoong's attention to him.<br/>"Yeah?" Hwanwoong asked. The two were lying in bed, facing each other. Youngjo's arm was around Hwanwoong's waist, while Hwanwoong had his hands pressed up against Youngjo's chest, occasionally kneading at it. <br/>"We still need to properly talk about us," Youngjo stated, his hand started to roam under Hwanwoong's shirt, drawing patterns with his fingers on Hwanwoong's back. <br/>"Do we have to? Can't we just enjoy each other's company tonight?" Hwanwoong asked, letting out a breathy sigh from what Youngjo was doing. <br/>"Seeing you like that, the other night, I had never felt such immense guilt. And don't apologise," Youngjo quickly interjected as Hwanwoong was about to say sorry. Hwanwoong shut his mouth and let Youngjo continue.<br/>"I should have known better. I allowed myself to be convinced that you were ready because I wanted you to be ready. I wanted to believe that you were ready because I so desperately wanted you. But I should have known better. This is your first real relationship. That was your first time. For me, even though you are the first man I've been with, I have had relationships and I'm not a virgin. I've also been in this sort of situation before. I got blinded by my own desires, so I am sorry. I beg for your forgiveness."<br/>Hwanwoong could feel a hot tear escape his eye, he clutched onto Youngjo's shirt and buried his face in Youngjo's chest.<br/>"Of course, I forgive you," he said, his voice muffled. "Not that I think you even need to apologise. You gave me more than enough outs but I insisted. I feel broken. I honestly felt like I was ready but I deep inside I knew I wasn't."<br/>"You're not broken, Hwanwoong," Youngjo pulled his hand out of Hwanwoong's shirt and started stroking Hwanwoong's hair instead to help calm him. "It's ok to have fears, to feel anxious about the relationship. I'll never fault you for that. Even I have my own anxieties about this. I don't want to lose you, I want you to be able to talk to me and let me help you."<br/>Tears were freely flowing for Hwanwoong, wetting Youngjo's shirt as Hwanwoong held onto it as if letting go would send him spiraling.<br/>"Hwanwoong, please look at me," Youngjo asked softly.<br/>Hwanwoong pulled away from his chest and looked up into his eyes.<br/>"I truly do love you. I've felt this way since we first met and I am honestly so very happy that I can hold you in my arms like this. I don't want to lose you. This relationship is still so young, let's give it time to properly grow," Youngjo said in a soothing tone before kissing Hwanwoong softly. <br/>"Ok," Hwanwoong replied in a quiet voice. "I love you too, Youngjo. I want this to work more than anything."<br/>"Please be honest with me from here on out. Don't feel like you need to push yourself. I can wait, I don't mind waiting. It's so much better when we both can enjoy it. And I am sorry if I ever did make you feel like you needed to be ready."<br/>Hwanwoong shook his head. "It's not your fault. I promise I'll be honest with you, and with myself."<br/>Youngjo kissed Hwanwoong. The kiss was long and sweet. It didn't have passion to it but it did have intimacy. A closeness that only those two could understand. It felt as if their two souls were melting into each other. When the kiss broke, Youngjo just held Hwanwoong close in a warm embrace. Hwanwoong felt calm, being held like that and soon asleep in Youngjo's arms.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hwanwoong had promised to quit smoking. It wasn't that easy. He craved nicotine almost daily while they practiced the new dance. Everyone got it easily enough but the constant dancing was exhausting. Hwanwoong had to start sleeping in the top bunk, finding sleeping in a single size bed with Youngjo was getting cramped after a long day in the studio. It had been a long few weeks and the performance with Onewe was just around the corner. Hwanwoong decided to sneak out one night. He desperately needed a smoke.<br/>  Hwanwoong was at the small jetty, cigarette in his mouth as he watched over footage of dance practice. He was trying to pinpoint any spots that needed working on, making mental notes of each one he saw. There were only a few areas in the dance that could be improved upon. This made Hwanwoong happy. It meant they should be ready for the performance. He stubbed out his cigarette and made his way back to the dorms. On his way, when he stopped at the bin to throw away his cigarette butt, he pulled out the rest of his smokes. He stared at them for a moment before throwing them into the bin. He felt bad for having the cigarette but he decided it would be the last one. Happy with this, he walked the rest of the way home. <br/>Hwanwoong was surprised to find Youngjo awake and sitting in the lounge room, watching tv. <br/>"I thought you promised to quit smoking?" Youngjo asked, sounding disappointed.<br/>"I did and I will. I just had a last one and I threw the rest away." Hwanwoong said as he took his shoes off. He made his way over to Youngjo.<br/>"I don't think you should have," Youngjo held up his phone. It was opened to twitter and showed a picture of Hwanwoong dressed as he currently was, leaning against the railing at the small jetty, cigarette in his mouth while he was on his phone.<br/>Hwanwoong took the phone, looking at the photo closely as he dropped onto the sofa. He couldn't believe his eyes, someone had seen him. Not only that, they took a picture and now it was on the net for everyone to see. Looking through the replies, it appeared a lot of fans doubted it was him. <br/>"We should talk to our manager in the morning, let them know about this," Youngjo said. He held his hand out for his mobile. Hwanwoong handed it back before hiding his head in his hands.<br/>"What's gonna happen?" He asked, his voice sounding small. He felt Youngjo put an arm around him and pulled him in close.<br/>"I don't know. But whatever happens, I'll be here for you. I promise."<br/>Hwanwoong leaned into Youngjo's chest, feeling some reassurance he had his hyung with him. </p><p>The next morning, Hwanwoong was pulled from dance practice to speak to the manager. Youngjo was already in the office, having gone straight to the manager upon the group arriving at the RBW studios. Hwanwoong felt nervous, he sat on the chair next to Youngjo. He kept his head down, arms to his side as he gripped the chair's seat tightly. <br/>"Hwanwoong," Youngjo said softly, gaining Hwanwoong's attention. "I did the best I could."<br/>Hwanwoong went to say something back when their manager spoke.<br/>"Hwanwoong," Hwanwoong turned his focus onto the manager. "Youngjo has explained the situation to me. He's told me you've already thrown out the rest of your cigarette and will be quitting. However, the photos of you have circulated to the higher ups. I'm afraid you will be suspended from all group activities until the end of the Onewe tour. I want you to help restructure the dance routine for your absence and then I want you to go home, to your parents. You won't be allowed to stay in the dorms until after your suspension period is up."<br/>Tears escaped Hwanwoong's eyes. He nodded to show his understanding but was unable to speak.<br/>"A statement will be released this afternoon, just saying you will be going on personal leave. Hwanwoong, I need you to understand, this isn't a decision we made lightly. Your contract clearly states no smoking. Please use this time to reflect." The manager said, his tone gentle. <br/>"I will," Hwanwoong said quietly. Youngjo stood up, bowing a goodbye to their manager and helping Hwanwoong to his feet.<br/>"Come on," he said softly. Hwanwoong just let Youngjo guide him from the room and back to the dance studio, feeling numb to everything. Once back, Hwanwoong made his way to the back of the room, sat on the ground and hugged his knees, burying his face so no one could see him. He listened as the others asked what happened and as Youngjo explained everything. Dongju and Keonhee weren't too surprised, Dongju having found Hwanwoong's pack of cigarettes once and Keonhee from smelling it on Hwanwoong a couple of times. Seoho had a small inkling and Geonhak, being the only one to not notice anything, was the only real one surprised to find out. None of them cared that Hwanwoong smoked, each one understanding the stresses that led to the need, but all five did care about being without him for the Onewe tour. They all went to him, pulling him up into a group hug.<br/>"I'm sorry I'm a disappointment," he said as the tears flowed freely. <br/>"None of us see you as a disappointment, Woongie," Keonhee said softly, stroking Hwanwoong's hair as he stood behind him. The rest all agreed. <br/>"We all love you, Hwanwoong," Seoho said. <br/>"I don't deserve this, I don't deserve you guys," Hwanwoong said as he buried his face into Geonhak's chest. He wished it was Youngjo in front of him, Geonhak just didn't smell the same. Still there was some comfort in it. <br/>"You deserve the world, Hwanwoong," Youngjo said. "You work incredibly hard for the group but you are only human, you're allowed to feel stressed out and to have vices. And you are allowed to make mistakes. None of us think any less of you. You're our Hwanwoong, the one in charge of height and talent in Oneus."<br/>Hwanwoong let out a chuckled, looking up over at the man he loved.<br/>"Thank you," he said softly. "All of you. I honestly feel incredibly lucky to be a part of this group."<br/>Everyone squeezed Hwanwoong tightly for a minute before letting go. They all knew they needed to get to training, now having to work without Hwanwoong as part of the routine. </p><p>Hwanwoong snuggled up close to Youngjo in bed. It was his last night in the dorm for a while as well as his last night with Youngjo until the end of the Onewe tour. <br/>"Will you be ok?" Youngjo asked, nuzzling his face into the back of Hwanwoong's neck. <br/>"I don't know," Hwanwoong admitted. He had his hand over Youngjo's, noticing for the first time the differences in sizes. <br/>"I'll make sure to call you every day and don't hesitate to call me when you need me, I'll always do my best to answer," Youngjo promised. Hwanwoong rolled himself over to face Youngjo. <br/>"Ok," Hwanwoong said softly. He reached his hand up, placing it on the side of Youngjo's face. <br/>"I love you," he said before pressing his lips against Youngjo's. Youngjo's hold on Hwanwoong tightened as they kissed. Hwanwoong gladly allowed himself to get lost in the kiss. The taste of Youngjo's mouth, the way their tongues fought against each other with desperate passion, it all just made Hwanwoong feel amazing. Youngjo pulled away, making Hwanwoong whimper.<br/>"Why did you stop?" Hwanwoong pouted.<br/>"Because I wanted to look at you," Youngjo smiled. Hwanwoong looked away, feeling flustered. <br/>"I'm going to miss you, Youngjo," Hwanwoong said as he looked back.<br/>"Me too," Youngjo said, his smile faltering a bit. Hwanwoong started kissing Youngjo again, quick little pecks on the lips before trailing them down his hyung's jawline to his neck. Youngjo let out small moans as Hwanwoong began sucking lightly at his neck. Hwanwoong was careful not to leave marks. He stopped when a thought struck him.<br/>"I was enjoying that," Youngjo complained.<br/>"Sorry, I want you to do something for me," Hwanwoong said, looking away timidly. <br/>"And what's that?" Youngjo asked, sounding curious. Hwanwoong took a deep breath before looking back at Youngjo with determination.<br/>"Mark me with a bite," he said. Youngjo was taken aback. <br/>"What was that?" He asked, looking unsure with what had just been suggested. <br/>"I got curious and looked up about biting being pleasurable which we were apart last. I didn't understand why I enjoyed it so much but I got some kind of understanding from it and learnt some things. I've been wanting to bring it up but I kept feeling unsure," Hwanwoong explained. "I'm sure now. I really want to be bitten by you, to be marked."<br/>Youngjo looked both excited and uncertain. <br/>"Hwanwoong..." he started saying, being cut off when Hwanwoong kissed him. <br/>"Don't question it please," Hwanwoong voiced. "I know what happened last time but I've spent at least three weeks thinking about this. I am sure, I promise."<br/>Youngjo sighed. "Ok."<br/>Youngjo started unbuttoning Hwanwoong's pyjama top, deliberately slow. Hwanwoong could only whimper in protest, receiving a smirk from Youngjo.<br/>"If you want me to mark you, then you have to let me do it my way."<br/>Youngjo started tracing a finger down Hwanwoong's bare chest, making patterns and Hwanwoong's shiver. He started kissing Hwanwoong's neck, sucking softly, drawing out moans from the younger man. His hand slipped under Hwanwoong's open shirt to his back, nail digging in lightly. <br/>"Youngjo," Hwanwoong whined. Youngjo just chuckled before biting Hwanwoong's neck suddenly. A loud moan broke free from Hwanwoong's lips. Youngjo quickly stifled it, taking his hand from Hwanwoong's back and putting it over his mouth. The painful pleasure felt overbearing for Hwanwoong, his mind soon slipping into a state of emptiness as nothing but the bite and the gratification it created matter. Youngjo let go of Hwanwoong's neck, licking lightly at the bite mark, causing sensation after sensation to ripple through Hwanwoong's body. <br/>Hwanwoong felt like he was in a daze. He couldn't string a coherent thought together as Youngjo pushed him onto his back and started kissing softly down his pale body. He stopped at Hwanwoong's tummy, just resting his head on it.<br/>"I love you, Hwanwoong," he said softly. He started kissing his way back up until he was back at Hwanwoong's neck. <br/>"I love you just so very much," he kissed at the bite softly, extracting one last moan from Hwanwoong.<br/>"I love you too," Hwanwoong finally managed to say, slowly regaining his faculties. Youngjo wrapped his arm around Hwanwoong, holding him close. <br/>"I'm really going to miss you," Hwanwoong said softly as he rolled onto his side and wrapped his own arm around Youngjo.<br/>"Me too, Woongie, me too."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW; Suicide attempt / Wrist cutting.</p><p>Please forgive me as well</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hwanwoong looked at the fading bite mark in the mirror. It had been nearly a week since Youngjo had given it to him. He was keeping it hidden with a couple of turtleneck sweaters he owned. The Onewe tour started the next day, giving Oneus only a week to learn the restructured dance. From videos Youngjo had sent to Hwanwoong, they were doing incredibly well. Hwanwoong felt proud of his hyungs and maknae but he missed them dearly. <br/>Hwanwoong prodded the mark, wishing it would last a bit longer. It didn't even hurt anymore. He let out a sigh, he wanted to see Youngjo again but his hyung had been busy practising. <br/>"Hwanwoong," came his mother's voice. Hwanwoong slipped on his turtleneck sweater and went to see what his mum wanted.<br/>"Coming," he called back as he walked down the hall to the living room. He turned into the room and was taken aback. <br/>"Hwanwoong!" Came the chorus of voices that belonged to his fellow group members. <br/>"Guys," Hwanwoong said in disbelief with a huge smile.<br/>"We all wanted to see you one last time before we went on tour," Youngjo said. <br/>"So we organised with your mother to come around for dinner," Keonhee added. Hwanwoong's mother beamed at Hwanwoong.<br/>"It's been a long time since I've had to cook for so many people but I was delighted when Keonhee gave me a call. Such a sweet boy," Hwanwoong's mother said, gaining a smile from Keonhee. <br/>"Now, Youngjo, Geonhak, you both look like strong boys. Can you bring in some more chairs from the garage? Just need another four to fit you all."<br/>"Of course, Ajummoni," Youngjo smiled. Hwanwoong's mother told them the way to the garage before telling the remaining three to just relax.<br/>"Hwanwoong dear you can come help me in the kitchen."<br/>Hwanwoong nodded, following his mother. His mother didn't really need any help, she just wanted to talk.<br/>"So," she said, Hwanwoong already knowing what she was going to ask.<br/>"Which one of those boys have stolen my son's heart? Wait, I want to guess."<br/>Hwanwoong rolled his eyes but let his mother continue.<br/>"Is it Geonhak? He seems like a nice boy and oh his voice," his mother guessed.<br/>Hwanwoong just snorted at the suggestion. "Not him."<br/>"I have a feeling it is one of the older boys. Maybe Youngjo?" His mother questioned, carefully looking at her son for any form of confirmation. Hwanwoong must have done something he wasn't conscious of because his mother started clapping happily.<br/>"It is him. Oh Hwanwoong, you've definitely fallen for a gorgeous one. Are you going to ask him out or I suppose you're not allowed to date while being an idol," his mother mused. <br/>Hwanwoong debated for a moment about telling his mother that Youngjo and him were already a couple. He decided he may as well otherwise she was going to try and 'help'.<br/>"Mum, I should have told you sooner but Youngjo and I are currently together," he said. His mother's eyes widened.<br/>"That's amazing, Hwanwoong. If only you were born a girl, you two would have gorgeous babies."<br/>"Mum!" <br/>His mother just laughed as she finished cooking dinner. Hwanwoong helped her bring dishes to the dining room, finding Youngjo and Geonhak there sorting out the chairs. <br/>"Geonhak, could you get the other boy?" Hwanwoong's mum asked. Geonhak agreed and left the room. Hwanwoong felt a sudden surge of panic as  he watched his mother approach Youngjo.<br/>"Youngjo?"<br/>Youngjo looked up at Hwanwoong's mother.<br/>"I just wanted to warn you that if you ever hurt my Hwanwoong, I won't hesitate to hurt you ten fold." Hwanwoong's mother said with a sweet smile.<br/>"Mum!" Hwanwoong could feel his entire face go red. He brought his hands to his face, trying to will himself out of existence at that moment. <br/>Youngjo chucked. "I promise you, the last thing I want to do is hurt Hwanwoong. I love him too much to ever do that."<br/>"Good to hear. Hwanwoong, stop covering your face."<br/>Hwanwoong looked through his fingers, glaring slightly at his mother for the embarrassment. Everyone else joined them in the dining room and all sat down. Chatting happily as they ate. Hwanwoong could feel his ears burning as he listened to his mother talking to Youngjo. She was doing what mother did best, telling embarrassing stories. Still, he was able to enjoy himself with his entire family. It felt nice, everyone talking happily. His mother seemed to be having an absolute ball, but why wouldn't she? She was currently surrounded by gorgeous men. It was probably a good thing his father was at work still.<br/>The night ended too soon for Hwanwoong. Everyone had to leave, they needed to sleep and be well rested for the next day. Youngjo lingered for a moment longer, pulling Hwanwoong into a tight hug. <br/>"Stay safe, Hwanwoong," Youngjo said as he looked down at Hwanwoong.<br/>"You too. I'm gonna miss you so much," Hwanwoong expressed. <br/>"I know. I'm going to miss you too," Youngjo leaned down and kissed Hwanwoong softly. "I love you."<br/>"I love you too." <br/>The two stayed in each other's embrace, just for a few more seconds before Youngjo reluctantly let go. He thanked Hwanwoong's mother for letting them come over before bidding goodbye and finally leaving, joining the others who were waiting in the car. <br/>"Youngjo is such a sweet boy. Completely perfect for my son," Hwanwoong's mother said with a smile.<br/>"Thanks mum," Hwanwoong smiled back. He tried to ignore the loneliness that was filling him up inside as he watched the car drive off and disappeared into the night. More than anything, he longed to be with them.<br/>"Let me clean up, mum. You deserve to rest," Hwanwoong said.<br/>"Thank you, Hwanwoong."</p><p>Hwanwoong flopped onto his bed. Feeling tired and overwhelmed with negative feelings. He didn't want to feel this way, sad, lonely, anxious but it seemed to be the only things he could feel at that moment. He got up and went over to his suitcase, pulling out one of Youngjo's night shirts that the older man had allowed him to borrow. It smelt strongly of Youngjo. That sandalwood with a hint of rose scent. He got changed into the shirt before getting into bed and hugging one of his pillows tightly. He closed his eyes and thought about Youngjo. Just trying to will him into existence but instead it just brought Hwanwoong to tears.  <br/>He hated himself at that moment. He hated himself for messing up, for causing all of this. He not only caused himself pain but also the members of his group. He hated himself for being so stupid, for not listening to Youngjo, for breaking his promise to stop smoking just so he could have one last one. His entire being was just filled with absolute loathing for himself. He cried into his pillow, sobbing hard enough that he began feeling like he was suffocating.<br/>"Why am I so broken?" He asked himself. He wanted to stop feeling everything, he just wanted to cease existing. It was all too overwhelming, overbearing for him. He felt like he was drowning, and nothing, no one, could save him. <br/>He got out of bed, his entire being numb and yet at the same time in absolute pain. He wanted it all to stop. He made his way to the kitchen and grabbed a knife from the knife block. A small one but still usable for what he needed it for. He went back to his room, grabbing his phone before going to his final stop, the bathroom. He filled the bathtub up with warm water, more on the hot side just how he liked it. <br/>Hwanwoong went through his phone's contacts until he got to Youngjo. He hesitated for just a moment before clicking on it to send a message. <br/>'I'm sorry for everything.' Was all he sent. The bathtub was finally filled, he shut off the taps and stepped in, still fully clothed. He barely felt the heat, feeling so very numb to the world. <br/>His phone started ringing, he didn't need to look at it to see who it was. He knew and that just twisted his insides until it went silent. Hwanwoong had had enough of the pain, he wanted it all to stop. He didn't want to exist anymore. Everyone would be better off without him, he told himself. He held the knife's handle tightly, his knuckles going white. He hesitated for a moment before bringing his other hand up out of the water, tendrils of liquid dripping down from it in an oddly soothing way. <br/>Hwanwoong's phone started ringing again. This time startling him. He wanted it to stop. It sounded louder than normal, like it was screaming at him. He held his hands to his ears, trying to block out the noise until it finally stopped again. <br/>"I'm sorry," he said softly, to no one and yet to everyone. He looked at his wrist, thinking back to biology class. He knew where he would need to hit. Still he hesitated. His phone began to ring again. <br/>"Please stop," he begged, hot tears rolling down his cheeks but it didn't, it kept ringing. He took a shaky breath, trying his best to push the noise from his head. He wanted to scream at it but to his relief it stopped. Finally, there was silence. Finally. <br/>Hwanwoong brought the blade down onto his wrist, piercing it. He gritted his teeth to the pain as he pulled it downwards. Thick red blood started spurting out of the cut. His entire body was shaky as he dropped the knife. He felt pale, beginning to second guess himself when he heard a knocking at the door.<br/>"Hwanwoong, honey, are you alright?" Came his mother's voice from the other side. He just stared at the door, body just trembling as if the hot water was somehow ice cold. <br/>"Hwanwoong?" His mother sounded more concerned. Hwanwoong looked back at his wrist, his head jerking as it moved. His mind felt like it was blank, like he truly was erasing himself from existence. <br/>Hwanwoong barely registered the crashing noise of the bathroom door being kicked in or the people that entered. One grabbed his bleeding wrist, covering it with a towel that began soaking up his blood. He could hear his name being called but it sounded muffled, far away. He felt like he was fading, the world around him becoming fuzzy. The last thought in his mind, Youngjo, smiling that smile that just made Hwanwoong swoon.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW Suicide attempt. Putting this here because this chapter focus is Youngjo/Ravn instead of Hwanwoong.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>'I'm sorry for everything.' The message from his Hwanwoong read. Youngjo wasn't too sure what to make of it. He figured Hwanwoong was definitely having a hard time being on hiatus. Youngjo knew how hard it could be, even though his reasons were different from Hwanwoong. He decided to give his Hwanwoong a call. He frowned when the call went unanswered, a feeling of unease forming in the pit of his stomach.<br/>"What's wrong?" Seoho asked. Youngjo had moved his mattress to Keonhee's and Seoho's room, not wanting to sleep alone.<br/>"Hwanwoong sent me a text saying 'I'm sorry for everything'." Youngjo answered. Both Keonhee and Seoho went pale. <br/>"Try calling again. Keonhee, call his mother," Seoho said before scurrying down from his bed, grabbing a jacket and pulling Youngjo along.<br/>"What's wrong?" Youngjo asked, willingly following Seoho out of the dorm and downstairs once their shoes were on.<br/>"Last time Hwanwoong sent us a message like that, he wasn't in a good place and…" Seoho hesitated but it was more than enough for Youngjo to understand. That feeling in the pit of his stomach getting worse. Seoho called up someone on his phone as Youngjo tried once more to get Hwanwoong to answer. <br/>A taxi was waiting ready for them outside the dorm's building. <br/>"Thank god," Seoho muttered as the two got in. Seoho gave the driver the address, offering extra if he got them there as fast as possible. The second call went unanswered too.<br/>"Try again," Seoho instructed. Youngjo did, mentally begging Hwanwoong to just answer. When he didn't, Youngjo could feel a panic attack coming on. He closed his eyes, evening out his breath the best he could.<br/>"He'll be ok," Seoho tried to reassure him. Youngjo looked at him.<br/>"And what if he's not?" Youngjo asked.<br/>"He will be," Seoho asserted. Seoho's phone began ringing and he answered it quickly.<br/>"Right, tell Keonhee to tell her we're almost there and try whatever she can to get the door open," Seoho said before hanging up. <br/>"That was Dongju. Keonhee is on the phone with Hwanwoong's mother, she said she heard Hwanwoong take a bath and he's not answering her."<br/>Youngjo closed his eyes again, taking deep breaths.<br/>"It'll be ok, we're here." Seoho said. Youngjo opened his eyes and flung the car door open, running out of the taxi up the path to Hwanwoong's house. He pounded at the door, harder than he really intended. A man he hadn't met answered, but it wasn't hard to guess it was Hwanwoong's father. <br/>"We can't get the door open," the older man said. Youngjo just dashed past him, pushing him aside with a quick 'excuse me' as he found Hwanwoong's mother banging at a door.<br/>"Hwanwoong, please open the door."<br/>"Stand back please," Youngjo said. Hwanwoong's mother did. Youngjo lifted his leg and kicked at the door as hard as he possibly could. It took only a couple of tries before the door swung open. Youngjo ran into the room, skidding to the side of the tub where Hwanwoong was sitting. Dressed in one of Youngjo's nightshirts, just staring blankly at his bleeding wrist. <br/>Youngjo scanned the room quickly, seeing a white towel and grabbing it, pressing it against Hwanwoong's wrist. <br/>"Hwanwoong! Can you hear me?" He asked, desperation heavily present in his voice. Hwanwoong didn't answer, his eyes rolled back and he went limp. Youngjo pulled him out of the tub, his body going making a heavy thunk as it hit the tile floor. Youngjo kept pressure on the wound as panic filled his mind. <br/>"An ambulance is on the way," Seoho said from the doorway. Youngjo only just realising he was there, and Hwanwoong's mother was now on the other side of Hwanwoong. <br/>"My baby boy, please wake up," she said, her voice filled with distress. It felt like an eternity but soon the paramedics arrived, taking Hwanwoong away with his mother. Youngjo, in a state of shock, just let Seoho guide him to Hwanwoong's father's car. <br/>"He'll be ok," Seoho said softly, keeping Youngjo close as they sat in the back of the car. Everything just went in a blur, Youngjo barely registering anything happening around them. He felt numb, his mind running through thousands of possibilities, trying its best to cope with what he had witnessed. </p><p>Youngjo tapped his foot impatiently, elbows on his thighs as he leaned his head on his interlocked fingers. It had been hours since they arrived and they were still waiting to hear anything about Hwanwoong's condition. <br/>"Here," Seoho said, making Youngjo look up. He was holding a paper coffee cup. <br/>"It's not great but it should help."<br/>Youngjo took it, staring down into the warm brown liquid. <br/>"What happened last time?" Youngjo asked before taking a sip. The coffee was bitter, only the barest hint of sugar.<br/>Seoho sighed. "Well, back during Produce 101, Hwanwoong was having a hard time. Just, you know how it is, being in this business is stressful and he wasn't handling it the best he could. Not that you would know by looking at him, always smiling, always cheerful. We knew, Keonhee and I, it was hard for him to always keep the mask up with us around. One day, we decided to go see him as a surprise, bringing him his favourite food and some movies to watch. On the way, he messaged us both. The same thing he messaged you. We weren't sure what it was about, thought maybe he had done something or felt bad for something. He was going to hang himself, he didn't manage to by the time we got there," Seoho paused, just staring blankly at his own coffee. <br/>"You don't need to say anymore," Youngjo stated. "Doesn't seem like a pleasant memory."<br/>"Definitely not. I never thought it would happen again, but I will admit, I should have known better. Or at the very least, warn you. After I saw him in the shower sobbing ages ago, I thought about it but I guess I convinced myself he wouldn't do it again."<br/>Youngjo patted Seoho's shoulder. "Don't put any blame on yourself. Did you manage to call our manager?"<br/>"Oh, yeah, he's upset to hear what Hwanwoong did. He's going to work on trying to either postpone the Onewe tour or at the very least, take Oneus off it but let Onewe still do the tour. Worst case scenario, we will still have to perform."<br/>Youngjo sighed as he leaned back and took another sip of the bitter coffee. <br/>"I promise, God, that I will perform if Hwanwoong comes out of this alive," Youngjo said, staring at the ceiling as he did. Not a traditional prayer but one nonetheless. "Please, God, please let him live," his voice waiving as he blinked back the tears. <br/>"Youngjo, Seoho."<br/>Both boy's heads snapped towards Hwanwoong's mother. Youngjo was immediately onto his feet, his heart beating incredibly fast. <br/>"Is he ok?" Youngjo asked.<br/>Hwanwoong's mother nodded. "He had surgery on his wrist as well as blood transfusions. The doctor explained it all but I guess I was just too relieved to take it in. They said Hwanwoong will be fine, he's in the ICU for the time being. They need to monitor him."<br/>Youngjo let out a sigh of relief. "Am I allowed to go see him?" He asked.<br/>"I've already cleared it with the doctor. Unfortunately, I couldn't get permission for both of you," Hwanwoong's mother looked over at Seoho apologetically.<br/>"That's ok," Seoho said as he stood up. "I'll head back to the dorms. You stay with Hwanwoong, Youngjo. I'll let the others know he's going to be ok."<br/>"Thank you," Youngjo pulled Seoho into a hug, careful not to spill either of the coffees.<br/>"Take care of Hwanwoong for us all."<br/>"I will." <br/>The two bid their farewells and Youngjo followed Hwanwoong's mother through the hospital to Hwanwoong's room. The sight of Hwanwoong made Youngjo's insides twist. Hwanwoong was connected up to a heart monitor that was beeping continuously as well as a bundle of other wires and lines, none of which Youngjo knew the purpose for. He sat down beside Hwanwoong's bed, taking his hand into his own.  He knew Hwanwoong was smaller than himself but he never realised how small he really was. <br/>"They said he probably won't wake up tonight," Hwanwoong's mother said as she sat on his other side, stroking his hair softly. In the corner of the room sat Hwanwoong's father, asleep and snoring lightly. <br/>Youngjo rested his forehead on Hwanwoong's hand, letting out a shaky sigh. Exhaustion finally enveloped him but he didn't want to sleep, he wanted to wait until he could see Hwanwoong's eyes once again, to hear his voice, to just see that smile.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hwanwoong felt incredibly groggy as he woke up. A continuous beeping was the first thing he noticed. He slowly opened his eyes, the light in the room making him squint. He tried raising his arm but it felt numb and his other hand was currently grasping something. He looked down to see someone sleeping, their head on the bed and their hand in his. Memories started flooding back to him. He remembered feeling broken, wanting to stop existing. He could remember the knife, the blood and the ringing. It felt jumbled in his head.<br/>He looked down to his numb hand, seeing the forearm wrapped heavily in bandages. He did this, he hurt himself, no, he tried to kill himself. He let out a sigh as he leaned his head back. <br/>"Hwanwoong?" <br/>He looked to his other side and saw his mother. <br/>"Hey mum, I'm sorry," he said, his voice hoarse and weak. His mother shook her head. <br/>"It's ok, Hwanwoong. I'm going to get the doctor. Youngjo?" She reached over and woke up the sleeping person. He lifted his head, blinking a couple of times before he looked at Hwanwoong.<br/>"You're awake," Youngjo said happily. <br/>"Keep an eye on him while I go get the doctor," Hwanwoong's mother said, receiving a nod from Youngjo. She left the room. <br/>"I'm sorry, Youngjo," Hwanwoong said after a moment of silence, not sure what to really say.<br/>"So you should be!" Youngjo half yelled before gritting his teeth. "Sorry, I shouldn't get angry at you. You don't need to apologise, Hwanwoong. I was so scared I was going to lose you." Youngjo grasped Hwanwoong's hand tightly, pressing it against his forehead. Silence permeated the room. Hwanwoong had no idea what to say. He felt guilt for his actions but he was grateful to still be alive. <br/>Youngjo kissed Hwanwoong's hand softly, drawing his attention.<br/>"I love you so much, Hwanwoong. I never want to lose you, I never want to be this close to losing you again," Youngjo's voice cracked slightly. "Please, please if you are ever feeling like that again. Reach out to me. No matter what I'm doing, I'll help you. I just don't want to lose you."<br/>Hwanwoong wanted to apologise, he couldn't really think of anything else to say.<br/>"I love you too Youngjo," he eventually said, his voice still hoarse. Youngjo smiled weakly. <br/>"Everyone else is back at the dorm, waiting to hear if you are ok. Our performance is getting postponed by a week. It's been decided that you will attend weekly counselling sessions, once we return from the tour. Our manager managed to pull a few strings for us. You're allowed to come with us but obviously you can't perform. I just, I don't think I would be able to travel without constantly worrying about you." Youngjo explained. Hwanwoong just nodded his head, the guilt inside forever growing. Soon his mother and the doctor returned. He had to answer a few questions and told he had to stay in hospital for a few more days. He was fine with this, if it meant he was still alive, he could live with this. <br/>The next few days went by in a blur to Hwanwoong. He was tired, emotionally exhausted but by the time he was allowed to leave the hospital, his mood picked up a lot. He was back to smiling, talking more. Finally back at the dorms, he felt he could relax a lot more. He was grateful that no one was treating him like a wounded animal, like he was weak and could break any moment but treated him as they always did. However, he could tell his suicide attempt affected each and every one of them in some way. He didn't feel like he needed to worry about them, Youngjo was the only one he really worried about. Youngjo kept close to him, not leaving him alone for long. Hwanwoong didn't mind at first but was concerned about it.<br/>On his third night back at the dorms, he decided it was time to talk to Youngjo about what happened. The two were snuggling in bed, facing each other when he spoke. <br/>"Youngjo," Hwanwoong said softly, getting his hyung's attention.<br/>"Yeah, what's up, Hwanwoong?" Youngjo asked. His hand was at the small of Hwanwoong's back, making small patterns with his fingers.<br/>"I know you said I don't need to apologise, but I do. I love you so much and I should have never done that to you. At that moment, I thought it was the best idea, that you were all better off without me but afterwards, while I was in the hospital I realised how backwards that was. I realised all it did was cause you pain. I am really sorry for doing that to you. I love you, more than anything Youngjo."<br/>Youngjo pushed Hwanwoong onto his back and loomed over him for a second. <br/>"Don't you ever do that to me again, Hwanwoong. I will sell my soul to the devil just to bring you back. I love you, you're my entire world and I wouldn't have it any other way," Youngjo said before leaning down and kissing Hwanwoong. Hwanwoong melted into the kiss, reaching up with his good hand to comb his fingers through Youngjo's hair. <br/>Hwanwoong knew their future would always be an uncertainty. But at that moment, he chose not to care. He wanted to enjoy every moment with Youngjo. To him, he had been given a second chance. He knew that his anxieties would eventually come back to him, perhaps even stronger than before but he knew he would have Youngjo by his side to help him. He just needed to trust his hyung, and he did, he truly did. <br/>"I'll love you forever," he broke the kiss to say as he stared at Youngjo with all the love in the world. Youngjo smiled back, the same look in his eyes.<br/>"I'll love you forever too."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading my story. This is the end of it. I did consider continuing the emotional roller coaster that is this story but ultimately I felt I should end it. I hope you enjoyed &lt;3</p>
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